tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8656175568786605239.post773148763264692749..comments2023-10-07T03:03:56.285-07:00Comments on BrocanteHome: The Trouble With FinnAlison Mayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12883092950196612309noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8656175568786605239.post-59357172432677386252009-03-08T07:21:00.000-07:002009-03-08T07:21:00.000-07:00Bless you for giving him your unconditional love a...Bless you for giving him your unconditional love and acceptance."Different" doesn't equal "wrong"...<BR/>You inspire me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8656175568786605239.post-35417453054563610502009-01-26T03:43:00.000-08:002009-01-26T03:43:00.000-08:00We've been struggling with our just a little bit d...We've been struggling with our just a little bit different kid and your discroption of Finn took my breath away. I might be on a lead now..Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8656175568786605239.post-84443410896357284852009-01-24T08:25:00.000-08:002009-01-24T08:25:00.000-08:00I'm glad you've finally found some answers. The Sp...I'm glad you've finally found some answers. The Spirited Child was like a lightbulb being switched on for me, it described my son perfectly. He's since been diagnosed with Aspergers, but has many sensory issues. I hope it isn't out of place for me to mention this, but it might now be worth investigating whether Finn would qualify for disability benefit (health professionals don't always inform you of your rights to benefits) - and if so, you would probably also be entitled to carer's allowance. The extra money can be really helpful, whether it's for fixing the damage that the child has inflicted on the house (oh my poor poor home!) or paying out for particular therapies or equipment that could help him (even things like swimming lessons or gymnastics/martial arts to help with balance and coordination). I would definitely advise you to get help with the form, talk to other mothers who've applied, as it's a humdinger of an application, but worth doing if your child will benefit.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8656175568786605239.post-30070080532325554882009-01-23T10:39:00.000-08:002009-01-23T10:39:00.000-08:00I have been reading your blog for a long time and ...I have been reading your blog for a long time and have commented a few times. I love your writing and how you describe Finley. He is absolutely gorgeous. I did my share of reading "The Spirited Child" when my daughter Marielle was young. She just seemed to be so much more exhausting and sensitive than the other kids...she is EXTREMELY sensitive and now at 10 years old, this is what makes her so much of who she is and that is...a wonderful, caring, bright, exasperating, energetic, amazing writer, reluctant reader, beautiful dancer and gymnast. She is awesome. I love her the way you describe your love for Finley. Don't let the educational establishment take any of Finley's traits and change them to what they feel are the "good" ones for the the "school setting." Thank God for Finley you are in his corner. So many kids don't have a parent like you. Sincerely, Patti from Livonia, MichiganAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8656175568786605239.post-31674086193178721542009-01-23T04:49:00.000-08:002009-01-23T04:49:00.000-08:00Ah, I love it when there's unexpected synergy. My...Ah, I love it when there's unexpected synergy. My son, now 8, has sensory processing disorder. Amazing the progress he has made.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8656175568786605239.post-46512195050704641542009-01-22T23:52:00.000-08:002009-01-22T23:52:00.000-08:00Well said Alison,I totally agree,also if we are ho...Well said Alison,I totally agree,also if we are honest isnt this little blogging community a place where we women can share and care about each others lives without broadcasting our feelings to 'the man in the street' for want of a better phrase,its sort of a virtual sisterhood,where else can I confess that I have been crying for an hour because the blues have landed,or I am sporting a pair of knickers which to my horror are back to front!I couldnt say these things to the Mummys in the yard could I? I know how good a mummy you are and I feel certain that you put Finlays needs before everything else.Genahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05764641721726691178noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8656175568786605239.post-3320102507577203902009-01-22T07:50:00.000-08:002009-01-22T07:50:00.000-08:00@Rivka... Thank you for your comment, I can't tell...@Rivka... Thank you for your comment, I can't tell you how lovely it is to know that you care enough about Finn and I t offer me the benefit of your own experience: you have indeed made me think about the consequences of discussing Finley in any light at all on an open forum such as this blog and I do believe that in the future I will always be careful about what I say about my son with respect to,as you so rightly pointed out, his personal privacy, because he is more than a child: he is a little person... <BR/><BR/>So on the one hand I absolutely agree with you: it has long been my intention only to write about him while he is little enough not to be embarassed. I don't want him to feel that his privacy has in any way been compromised by my actions and I have always tried not to make Finley the focus of BrocanteHome.<BR/>That said, Finley is a part of my life, and writing about that life as genuinely and authentically as possible is both how I make my living and how I hope I show other women how important it is on a platform like this, to not perpetuate the myth that we all lead perfect lives... <BR/><BR/>Writing about how mothering Finley is difficult without explaining exactly why, could be mistaken for whingeing or griping and I would rather it be put into context, so his behavior, my reaction to it and indeed the way it shapes our lives, is judged from an educated stance.<BR/><BR/>Furthermore Nicole is also right: we have to widen the debate to allow behavioral differences to be both acknowledged and ultimately accepted, and I truly hope that what little I see the need to say in the future will be welcomed within a trusted environment and will help others battling against systems they don't understand to see that occasionally there is light at the end of the tunnel and that it is more than ok to seek support within a trusted network and indeed to be a loud, mouthy, persistent advocate for your child...xAlison Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12883092950196612309noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8656175568786605239.post-82624660525728792142009-01-22T05:49:00.000-08:002009-01-22T05:49:00.000-08:00Just thought I'd jump in here with my two cents......Just thought I'd jump in here with my two cents...:-)<BR/>On the one hand, I agree with Rivka that respecting children's privacy is very important. But on the other, there is so much misunderstanding about these different "mental" disorders (for lack of a better term)that, by talking about it and informing people of the facts, it would help dispell the myths. I am now in the process of being diagnosed with ADHD and, since it tends to run in families, I now worry about my little ones. I may have to walk down this path myself in a few years. And I'll have to find a balance between privacy and publicity.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8656175568786605239.post-14916477133088768382009-01-21T22:42:00.000-08:002009-01-21T22:42:00.000-08:00I was so interested to read this as my children ha...I was so interested to read this as my children have various issues as well. One thing you might want to turn over in mind (along with everything else you have to deal with) is that Finley deserves his privacy. I understand the need to write and the need to write to communicate & share all this to others. I also know from experience that we want to help others by what we learn through our childrens' challenges.<BR/><BR/>But after I went around telling everyone this and that, I came to realize that my child and my children deserved their privacy. It is 15 years later and people that know my children *still* bring up their childhood challenges and diagnoses. "I am so shocked and thrilled that 'T' is married with a new baby. I never would have imagined that for her after all she went through as a child." "How is 'T' doing with the new infant?" (with large, scared eyes and concern as if she is still the challenged 10 year old.) "Oh look how well she is doing, isn't that a miracle?" <BR/><BR/>Really. You might want to consider how Finley will feel at 25years old, when the whole world has been told of his health issues and diagnoses.<BR/><BR/>Please forgive me, as I adore your blog and have been reading it for a very long time and just love every single thing about you. I am only suggesting the above because I have regrets of my own actions and how they later affected my children.<BR/><BR/>Much love to you and Finn.rivkahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02150398160212453582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8656175568786605239.post-73336501400991455612009-01-21T18:07:00.000-08:002009-01-21T18:07:00.000-08:00You may also well note that highly intelligent chi...You may also well note that highly intelligent children have the same sensory issues. Sounds like you have an amazingly bright little boy there. Trust your instincts.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8656175568786605239.post-53834018606306002052009-01-21T16:52:00.000-08:002009-01-21T16:52:00.000-08:00Sounds like a creative genius to me and a darn cut...Sounds like a creative genius to me and a darn cute one at that.<BR/>VictoriaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8656175568786605239.post-66605063341837036862009-01-21T12:26:00.000-08:002009-01-21T12:26:00.000-08:00My daughter has sensory processing difficulties, t...My daughter has sensory processing difficulties, too. Since she was two, she's been working with an OT, physiotherapist and speech-language pathologist (to help with pragmatics). She's got definite propioceptive issues and difficulties with motor planning. Lots of challenges!<BR/>Your love for and acceptance of Finn really shines through. You're lucky to have one another!lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10130816183448866952noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8656175568786605239.post-45816876470456222842009-01-21T12:02:00.000-08:002009-01-21T12:02:00.000-08:00What a dear boy and what a dear mother. Unique and...What a dear boy and what a dear mother. Unique and special! Rachaelxoroseroomnz.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06601813063470169703noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8656175568786605239.post-34502681541169110732009-01-21T09:52:00.000-08:002009-01-21T09:52:00.000-08:00Darling I know how you feel,we have had school psy...Darling I know how you feel,we have had school psychiatrists and God knows who looking at Lucy,for what I feel is merely crippling shyness,but at least now you have been heard and you know what you are dealing with,Finn is a very special little boy,and I just know that all will be well,in his world and in yours.xxxGenahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05764641721726691178noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8656175568786605239.post-22705613978183134092009-01-21T08:15:00.000-08:002009-01-21T08:15:00.000-08:00Every mother finds herself at one point or another...Every mother finds herself at one point or another going to bat for her child. You're so good at it and all the research...fantastic. Finn may not experience the world in the same ways that the majority of us do, but he experiences it in pretty amazing ways all the same. Reminds me of the Einsteins, the Edisons, the Michelangelos...all of whom experienced the world in different ways from the average. That's what creates genius.<BR/><BR/>A challenge to be sure, but oh, what a challenge!Veehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00618654361869856894noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8656175568786605239.post-42155502011053438532009-01-21T07:59:00.000-08:002009-01-21T07:59:00.000-08:00Well thank goodness the OT lady has come to the sa...Well thank goodness the OT lady has come to the same conclusion as you. Now you're both working from the same page and hopefully she and her team will come up with ideas and strategies to help.<BR/>I have to say, I think you're a pretty amazing Mum.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com