Oh heavens, I'm really not sure I'm up to knowing the ugly truth about my Darling Enid Blyton. Some reputations should never be sullied. And yet, and yet and yet, how can one resist Helena Bonham Carter and all that 1930's eye-candy?
Just be grateful this BBC 4 drama (Monday 16th November 2009, 9pm) will spare us the affair with her tennis coach and lesbian fling with the children's Nanny, because it is a fact as plain as the nose on my face that Enid Blyton would have been far too busy conjuring up Moonface and all his gorgeous friends while feasting on ginger beer and rhubarb to have ever, ever dallied with anything as silly as sex!

Damn her being such a hideous Mummy though. Damn her to the top of the Faraway Tree.